" Some days we paint with large bold strokes, like when someone finishes a book report or gets a piece of music ready for performing. Most of our days are softer in color. A little dab here a little dab there, following a rough draft, but allowing ourselves to paint outside the lines when we want too. "
~ Deborah Jean

Thursday, February 3, 2011

TEEN MOMENTS ~ Surviving the Terrible Twelve's


Do these phrases look familiar to you too? Whether you are homeschooling or not, most teens/preteens between the ages of 12 and 14 begin their first attempts toward independence and freedom. It's natural! It's part of growing up. I remember spending countless hours in my room playing with make-up, listening to music, and gabbing on the phone with friends and making big plans for when I would be old enough to finally move out and be on my own. I'm observing similar behavior in our home now and it takes me back to that " place" Everything seems so logical but on the inside it's anything but... at least for a teen.

Making this transition is easier for some than others, parent and child. Thoughts of  throwing in the towel on homeschooling may begin to enter your mind and your child's throughout this phase of development.
 In some cases people find this is exactly what is needed in order to preserve the relationship and foster continued growth in their teenager.

  I'll admit, there were times over the last year when I had my doubts and thought we might be nearing the end of our homeschooling journey with one of our children. It was only during those times when we experienced frustration with each other or had had an argument. The rest of life was still peaceful, enjoyable and our daughter was happy with her life, friends, learning and accomplishments.

GOOD NEWS! I think we've just about made it through the roughest waters and I can finally see dry land. I learned a few things along the way.

  • When your teen wants to argue, stand firm and don't over react.( it took me a while to get my footing on this one)
  • Always make up after an argument even if  the words " I hate you " were uttered by your teen. ( they don't really mean it, but they have to try it out )
  • Try and remember that you might have made life temporarily ugly for your loved ones too!
  • Embrace the moments when you are getting along and use those times for talking about his/her changes and finding out more about how they feel about anything and everything.
  • Have the"are you still happy with our homeschooling lifestyle " conversation. Be prepared for any and all answers. Your teen might say they want to go to school and mean it, or they might not. 
  • Give your teen the space he/she needs to be alone.
  • Keep any connections/ interests that you share with your teen alive during this phase. 
  • Use this time to feed your soul with nurturing words, meals, time alone in nature, music, or a hobby.

    The twelfth year isn't really all that terrible but it is challenging at times for us and for them. The waters will eventually smooth out and one day, out of the blue, the child you know and love will re- appear more grown- up, more gracious, and even lovelier than before just long enough to get you ready for the next wave of teen life! The THIRTEENTH YEAR!

      About the lampshade

    Sometimes doing a project together can smooth over rough edges and bring you back to center. 

    You can transform a simple white lampshade with pretty silk flower petals, colorful brads and a glue gun in no time. Just assemble your flowers and attach with brads by inserting them through the center of each flower. Hot glue your flowers to your shade! 

    We purchased supplies for this simple Mother ~ daughter project at Michael's Crafts Store in their scrap booking dept.

    * I couldn't find a photo of the actual brads we used so I'll leave it up to you and your homeschooling detective skills to locate them. 

       Lord knows, I don't have all the answers! Do you have a TEEN MOMENT you wish to share?
    Include a link in your comment below!

    Happy Creative Homeschooling,
    Deborah Jean


    1. We are just getting peeks as to what is on the horizon. My daughter is 10 but most of her closest friends are older. She has really noticed the difference in them and their behavior. Hopefully I can use these observations when she is in the throws of her own changes. I love the lamp shade and I am certain my daughter will be attempting this very soon.

    2. Thank you for your note Jennifer! It's all part of life and growing for us and for them. If we can let go of the toughest moments and keep things light during the good ones I think we can make it through!
      Happy Lamp shading!
      Send me a pic if you girls make one together!


    Thanks for visiting today! Id love to hear about your home school happenings too. I read and enjoy each and every comment so leave one for us all if you have the time!
    Happy Creative Homeschooling
    Deborah Jean